She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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