we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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