Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
