I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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