Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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