I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
