when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
