the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Found the puke drawer
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
