Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
