YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize