i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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