is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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