don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
