Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize