She is in my trunk
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize