All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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