You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
