ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize