Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
