so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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