I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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