I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
someone get that fucking seahorse.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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