the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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