11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
