She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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