I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
