You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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