I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I will die if light touches me.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize