I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
