I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
