your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think my mom watched the whole time
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
