TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
