I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
