Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
