cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
