69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just found a bag of teeth...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
