So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
