You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Less talking, more tequila
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
