I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
