god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
