can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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