Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
