You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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