Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
