I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
