he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize