things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Who died my cat blue again?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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