I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize