Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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