Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
