just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
