No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
