Me too!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we're chasing vodka with high fives
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
