two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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