He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
