You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
