I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
