Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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