omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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