i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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