you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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